Welcome Viarayne. I'm married to a pomi (physically out mentally in) jw. He told me it was no big deal 'it's just the religion I was raised in'. This turned out to be a lie. Unless a jw researches and determines their religion to not be 'the truth' the indoctrination never leaves them. This usually causes big problems in marriages when the other person is worldly. Being worldly to them basically means you're not on jehovahs team, you're on satans team. No matter if you're a good person or not, they believe you will be destroyed at armageddon. They believe that only jws in good standing will survive and everyone else in the world will die. It gives them a superiority complex and this will carry over into your marriage. Misogyny is rampant in the jw world and their teachings. Your fiance may be looked down upon for marrying a worldly woman, however, he may also be pitied because they will feel his life must be so very difficult being married to one of satans followers. Honestly, it sounds crazy but this is truly what they believe. You're lucky you found this site. I've been married for a long time and I knew nothing about jws when I married one. There was no internet. If I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't have married one. Ex-jws are different though and I find them to be honest and lovely people, but they must be fully awake and realize that it's a cult. If they don't realize this the chance they'll go back is very high. I wish you the best and encourage you to research jws thoroughly before you marry one.
Closer to Fine
JoinedPosts by Closer to Fine
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Engaged and having a baby, I’m not JW fiancé is
by Viarayne ini’m not interested in becoming a jehovah’s witness but have nothing against people who are, or whatever religion someone chooses to follow for that matter.
i am here because i have some questions regarding my family and i. .
my fiancé stopped going to church prior to us meeting.
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I informed my family that the reason I will not be attending the memorial is because I believe Jesus is my mediator..
by joe134cd inanyway i got kind of cornered this morning about why i wouldn’t be attending the memorial.
i said i’m sorry i just can’t go because i believe that jesus is my mediator.
i guess you can imagine the conversation that ensued.
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Closer to Fine
Thank you for answering, Diogenesister. I understand their teachings that the 144k will rule in heaven, however, I thought I read somewhere that the GB said Jesus was the mediator for them and only them and that one must be associated with the GB to even stand a chance in armageddon. Is this correct? I may have misunderstood it. Thank you all.
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I informed my family that the reason I will not be attending the memorial is because I believe Jesus is my mediator..
by joe134cd inanyway i got kind of cornered this morning about why i wouldn’t be attending the memorial.
i said i’m sorry i just can’t go because i believe that jesus is my mediator.
i guess you can imagine the conversation that ensued.
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Closer to Fine
I believe I read somewhere that the GB currently teach that Jesus is the mediator for them and only them, and that jws only have the chance of surviving armageddon due to their association with the GB.
Is this correct? If not, would someone please clarify? I'm not a jw but am married to a POMI who isn't familiar with any current teachings, yet still believes it's the truth. This bit of information might be useful in planting a few seeds of doubt at some point. Thank you.
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I am an idiot..
by zeb ingoing past a 'new-age' shop today i stupidly said to my most 'uber' wife, do you want a reading?
" ..not a good idea.. oh dear.. she opened up correcting my every other word and brought in a stream of jw speak and now many hours later is still steaming under an acute cloud of sol.. oh god keep me from being so stupid; cut out my tongue, glue my teeth together.
aaarrgh!
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Closer to Fine
Zeb, I've been an idiot before too. Many times in fact. It's tough when you don't know what they will laugh off and what will send them into a preaching tirade. My jw does things on a daily basis that would get him DF'd, however, if I say or do something jw's don't approve of I get preached to for a good hour (or however long it takes until he feels better about his own guilt). It doesn't happen all of the time, but it happens too often. I'm sure most UBM's understand what I mean.
As One Eyed Joe said, it is a form of abuse and I acknowledge that. I've allowed it to happen. That's why I call myself an idiot
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London Protest 2018
by josephus inwell today marks the beginning and biggest day of our protest at the london excel.. we believe it's a record number at around 100 exjws at the front door.. we spoke to lots of jw's and one young man studying who has quit after talking to us.
we've been approached privately by jw's who thanked us for coming and the security at the event treated us very well.. if anyone wants to see some clips they are available on my channel the great apostate.. thanks to all for the support and love..
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Closer to Fine
I'm not a jw, but I have been married to a mostly POMI for decades. I've studied with jws and attended meetings off and on for decades as well. The first time I saw jwfacts.com was on a sign a protester had at a convention. I looked it up a few days later. Maybe I would have stumbled upon it online anyway, who knows? The point is, I saw it on a protesters sign and after looking at that site and reading posts on this site, I knew I would never join them. Had I not gone to jwfacts.com, due to loads of pressure from family, I probably would have eventually been baptized. So I can honestly say that a protester started me on the path of being saved from that! A big thank you to whoever that protester was!!
Protests tend to bring in the media attention also and maybe jws won't believe negative press, but non jws likely will and hopefully that will prevent some future converts.
If even one baptism is prevented or if one jw wakes up because of this protest it's worth it isn't it? Thank you to all of you that took part!
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wizard of Oz JW style
by Kevin McFree ina one year special episode for watchtower to enjoy watching this week ;).
https://youtu.be/1fx3vrkvaci.
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Closer to Fine
Brilliant!! You are so talented! I absolutely loved it! I will always think of this dubtown episode now when I watch the Wizard of Oz. Thank you
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How do you deal with the smoke?
by compound complex ini hope you're not dealing with wildfires in your area.
currently, california is under siege.
we, in the sierra nevada foothills, had our major conflagration last october and needed to evacuate.
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Closer to Fine
I feel so bad for people in Cali these days. So many fires in the past couple of years. I have family and friends scattered throughout the state and so far none have been evacuated, however, some are dealing with the smoke issues as you are. We have fires every year where I live as well. I've been evacuated only once, thankfully. The smoke does make it difficult to breathe at times and irritates the eyes. I'm sure you already know about the masks you can purchase to filter some of it out. If you're able, stay inside with the AC running as much as you can. AC will filter out quite a bit of the smell too. Changing the filter on your AC more often than usual is recommended. Take care and stay safe.
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Non JW wife/JW husband Christmas tree debate
by spacegirl443 infirst post here and looking for advice and help.
sorry in advance for it being so long :(.
i'm a happily married woman (no kids) who is a non-jw, presbyterian to be precise.
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Closer to Fine
Welcome Spacegirl - I am also a UBM and Christmas time in our home is also difficult. I married an inactive jw a few decades ago and we celebrated xmas for many years. He took part in decorating including all of the outside decorations. Anytime jws would stop by he would lie and say it was all mine and he had no part in it. Fast forward 20++ years and those old jw ways and beliefs resurfaced. It got to the point that the arguments weren't worth it to me anymore and under pressure, I got rid of all my xmas decorations, including the sentimental ones. It was difficult to do and I regret it. A few years passed and I decided that I had given up enough to make the jws comfortable. I was the only one making the compromises. So I bought all new decorations and even though I'm enjoying them alone it's better than nothing. Sorry to ramble on so much about myself. My advice to you is to keep your decorations and make it clear from the beginning that you won't give up what is important to you.
I look forward to more posts from you
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Bought My First Christmas Tree Last Night
by pale.emperor inlast year i didn't bother with christmas as it still felt like a "nothing" day to me (thanks watchtower!).
this is the 2nd christmas since waking up and leaving the cult and i've finally bought my first christmas tree:).
i have no idea what to do with it though.
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Closer to Fine
How exciting for you and your little daughter. Christmas is such a fun time for kids. Glad your daughter won't be deprived of the joy. You will get to experience that joy now too. To any jws out there lurking - no it's not damaging to kids to let them believe in santa in their youth (I've heard this many times from my jw family). What is damaging is letting children think that if they're not pretty darn close to perfect, god will destroy them and that demons are around them all the time trying to tempt them. Now that is damaging!
Wishing you and your daughter a very merry 1st christmas
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More Kindness, Less Judgment
by compound complex ini am comforted by the realization that my little life has not been lived totally in vain.
there's been a lot of good stuff come my way.
most of my mistakes were not life altering.
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Closer to Fine
More kindness and less judgment. Those are certainly words to live by aren't they? You're a wise man, CoCo.